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NEW BEGINNINGS


Today starts a new chapter of my life. One which I had never seen coming but that's life it's full of unexpected surprises. The ex (I shall call him that from now on as that's what he is now) finally packed up all of his belongings and after sleeping on the sofa for 12 weeks and is moving back to his parents for the time being until he gets his own place. I knew this day was coming, I've known for at least six months but never let myself believe it as I didn't want to feel like a failure as a mum. Now I can see it's the best decision and only wish it had been done sooner. But at least now I have closure, I can finally move on as a family of three and I no longer have a third child to mother and the kids will have a much happier, less stressed mummy.

Okay so it may not have felt like he lived here the majority of the time but all of a sudden there's that awful feeling of emptiness. Knowing that there won't be someone sleeping downstairs when he arrives home late from work, purely for security purposes I think. But it will be strange to begin with, but nothing else will be different really as I already did everything myself around the house and with the kids. Yes i may have lived a single life for god knows how long but it will take some adjusting to. 

The main thing I feel guilty about is how Amelia is going to feel waking up tomorrow morning, running downstairs to see daddy like she does every day without fail and he won't be there to greet her. I'm sure he's sad deep down about this two as this is the only time he saw her five days of the week due to working long hours. I guess he will see more of her now than he ever did living here as he will be having her on his days off instead of having to "pop into work" on his days off, so I'm glad she will be able to see him then and they can spend time together. As from next Wednesday he'll be picking her up at lunch time and she will be staying over the night and he'll have until Thursday afternoon. Harry will go during the day times and when he's old enough he will too stay over the night. It's going to take a lot of adjusting to as Amelia's never stayed over at anyone else's house before other than our own or on holiday but we've both always been with her. But at least I know she's got a good relationship with her dad and that contact won't stop. 

Do you know what, surprisingly we both get on well when we're not in a relationship, which I am glad about as we can be civil in front of the kids and co-parent on the same level. I'm glad we parted on good terms, after all it could have been a lot worse...a lot lot worse! We're even off to a concert tomorrow evening together as we didn't want to waste the tickets, but it will be no different than going to the last one we went to as we had already separated by then.

So I'm looking forward to this new chapter and seeing what it brings me and the kids, and as selfish as it sounds it's time for me to be happy again. 

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31 comments

  1. So wonderful to read all the positivity in this post. I'm sure initially it will be hard for Amelia to get used to but like you say long term it will be lots better as she will see her Dad lots more!
    Wish you lots of luck in your new beginnings! Sounds like you are definitely starting off in the right frame of mind :) x

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  2. Hi Kery!
    I am too a single mom after 16 years of mariage with the father of my sons (a boy and a girl, too).
    It was the hardest decision of my life, but he too was also a mummy boy and I eventually got tired of it... 16 years later... Despite I was still very much in love with him...
    Now I've been living alone for 5 years and it has been some hard years...
    So, I am glad that you are so positive, and looking foward for this new chapter of your life!
    I hope you find hapiness because you deserve it!
    Kisses from Portugal!

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  3. You sound so happy Kerry. And I am really happy for you.
    You're being so grown up about this, well done.
    Good luck :) x

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  4. Best of luck to you all going forwards from here :)

    Jess xo
    http://just-jesss.blogspot.co.uk

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  5. I have no doubt in my mind that you three will be so very happy. I am so happy this day has come xx

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  6. Children are strong. Mine were and still are. As long as they know they are loved by everyone that's all they need. Wishing you all the best for your future x

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  7. So glad you are feeling positive about the situation - I believe that your happiness is the most important thing for yourself AND your children xx

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  8. Well done Kerry. This must have been a difficult one to write. Glad you are feeling positive and hopefully empowered! Go you x

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  9. Well done Kerry. This must have been a difficult one to write. Glad you are feeling positive and hopefully empowered! Go you x

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  10. Wishing you the best of luck and happiness in the new chapter of your life Kerry. xx

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  11. I'm so glad that it's been the best decision and it sounds like a bit of a relief to finally get it done. I hope the next chapter in your life brings you all a massive amount of happiness and adventures xx

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  12. You are very brave Kerry. Well done. You are a great mum. of course you will manage it all. x

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  13. You definitely do deserve happiness and I feel sure your life will just get better and better. I divorced my first husband when my first son was just a few months old and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I never thought I'd marry again, but I did 13 years ago and life has turned out great, yours will too. xxx

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  14. You definitely do deserve happiness and I feel sure your life will just get better and better. I divorced my first husband when my first son was just a few months old and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I never thought I'd marry again, but I did 13 years ago and life has turned out great, yours will too. xxx

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  15. I know it's a bit different but I left an abusive relationship years ago (needless to say, we are NOT on friendly terms) and experienced so many of the same feelings you described here. Strangely enough, it wasn't until I was a single mom of two that I began to actually make time for myself, and it wasn't until I understood the importance of that "me time" that I was able to find (and I mean, really and truly FIND) genuine happiness. Good luck in your new beginning!

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  16. I wish you all the luck and happiness as a family of 3 and it's admirable that you are on good terms with your ex and doing your best to co-parent your 2 beautiful children.

    Rebecca x x
    www.percyandgrace.co.uk

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  17. I am so glad you and him are civil, it will be great for the kids having you in each others lives even if you're not together and it all be amicable. I have seen so many divorces within my immediate family and it's so hard when things end badly x

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  18. Wanting to be happy is definitely not selfish. I'm glad you guys are able to civil and co-parent well because so many former couples don't manage to do this. Here's to new beginnings and all the happiness that comes with it!

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  19. Sorry to hear about the split!
    Cheer to a better happier life! Best of luck on your journey!

    -Christa Cox
    http://christanncox.blogspot.com

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  20. I am so pleased that you are able to move forwards and look towards a brighter, more happy future with your two gorgeous littles. Harry and Amelia are truly lucky to have you as their mummy. It's not selfish at all to want to be happy in yourself again. Amelia xx
    www.ohlittleonesweet.com

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  21. It sounds like you've made the best decision for you and your family and you should be so proud of yourself! You definitely deserve to be happy, and your strength is so inspiring! I think that it is so great that you have ended on good terms, and Harrison and Amelia are so lucky to have you both in their lives xx

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  22. It is so nice to read such a positive and inspiring post about your relationship break-up and your new beginnings. I split up from my fiancé 3.5 months ago, our son is 9 months old and we are still living in the same house together. All going well our new beginning should be in July when we sell the house and both buy new properties. I know that it will be really tough and that the reality will hit hard when we finally move out. I will feel like a failure, but I have a wonderful son and a great future and things are just about amicable with his Dad.

    Thanks again for your post. I really hope that my new beginning can be as positive as yours. Xx

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  23. You sound like you're handling it all so well Kerry and definitely doing the best thing for Amelia and Harrison, you should be proud of yourself for handling it all so maturely and putting the kids first xx

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  24. Splits are always hard, especially when there are children involved. You're handling it so well and being so sensible for you and your beautiful children. You seem like a wonderful mother and I hope you start getting the happiness you deserve x

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  25. You sound like you are doing so well. I was in your position a few years back and it's so hard. Break ups are hard anyway but adding children's feelings to the mix makes it harder. Sounds like you are all doing whats best and good luck with your new beginning. I'm sure there are new exciting times ahead!

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  26. I love how positive you are and how you can turn a potentially awful situation into something much brighter and optimistic. Go you! You are amazing and beautiful, and you are going to be so happy :)

    Hugs,
    Annie
    The MAMA Gazette

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  28. I just happened to stumble across this post perusing your beautiful blog. I am s sorry to hear what has happened. My ex left us back in March, my twins were 16 months. I have documented some of my journey on my blog. I'm so pleased it amicable, it is with me and their dad too. The guilt is also normal but you'll soon realise it's for the best. You are their gorgeous mummy and will always be there. Sending hugs! xxx

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  29. I can't imagine how hard this is for you- but as a 27 year old who has seen her parents split up twice, divorce, get back together and then finally split for good two years ago (over a span of about 15 years) I can only say that two single, happy parents is better than parents who try to make a 'family' work. Children aren't stupid but they do adjust and quicker than you'd think. Big love to the three of you x

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  30. You sound positive and positivity is the key, and like others have said, two happy parents are better than two that aren't.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I love reading them all and will try my best to answer all of your questions. If you would like to contact me for a quicker response please feel free to tweet me at (@ohsoamelia_blog) or email me. Kerry