Hi, I'm Chantal and I blog at Scattered Seashells. I'm wife to an Army pilot and mom to a busy toddler girl. We currently live in Southern Alabama, but soon we'll be on our way to our next adventure in South Korea! My blog is about parenting, motherhood, toddlerhood, and our life. Come and say hi!
You've said it before, haven't you? I'm a bad mom! Admit it, it's okay, we've all been there. You might even mutter it every day for various reasons. I'm a bad mom!
Are you really? Who's even keeping score? I know this motherhood game can be a big contest sometimes, the so-called "Mommy Wars," and we're battling with each other about who is doing the right thing, different parenting styles, and all that. But can you see how damaging it is to constantly tell yourself you're a bad mom?
I was reading Bringing Up Bebe, and she mentions a contrast between American and French mothers on this exact topic. It's the American thing to do when a bunch of women get together - complain. It builds a sense of camaraderie, I suppose. Maybe we're looking for sympathy, for someone to pat our backs and tell us that we're doing a fine job. Here's your pat on the back.
You are not a bad mom.
You're not a bad mom because you didn't feed your kid an organic, mostly-vegetable, meal for dinner. So what if it's chicken nuggets and pickles? At least they're eating something. And hey, who cares if you have dinner while watching a movie? Not me.
You're not a bad mom because you didn't buy that cool toy, or you did buy that cool toy, or you let your kid chew on sticks on occasion. Because I do.
You're not a bad mom because you watched TV all day. Sometimes, you just have to. Or that you can't make homemade paint, or your kid won't color despite your best efforts, or they aren't wearing pants for the third day in a row. Whatever!
You're not a bad mom for the myriad of reasons why you ever mutter the words, ever type them out to a friend on Facebook, or ever say them to your spouse through an uncomfortable laugh. Your kid might have cried all day or just told you they hate you, but you are not a bad mom. Believe me, you aren't.
As for me, I'm working to take those words out of my vocabulary, because I am a good mom. I am Penny's mom and she is happy, healthy, and spirited. Is there more I should ask for?
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