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How To Deal With Toddler Tantrums


There's nothing worse than your toddler throwing a tantrum in public, random passers by staring at you with a screaming kid on the floor and you're stood there ignoring them hoping that they will stop. Even though Amelia has only just turned 15 months she has had her fair share of temper tantrums, and I know this is nothing compared to the "terrible two's" we still have all of that to come yet! 

However, at this very young age Amelia is a very demanding little girl, she certainly knows what she wants and if she doesn't get it she will make us know that she isn't happy. Whether this be by screaming at the top of her lungs, throwing herself back on the floor or stomping her feet she most certainly knows how to express her self. Most of the time she will stop a minute later and is only after attention however the majority of the time she can be a right little madam! 

A tantrum is an expression of your toddler's feelings. It's not the best way to deal with at the time, but how is a toddler supposed to know that? But they are simply trying to communicate how they are feeling.  There are many reasons for your toddler to have a tantrum, here are the most common ones: 

- Want to be the one in control
- Can't express what they want or need
- Bored
- Overstimulated
- Trying to be independent
- Hungry, tired, thirsty etc

Here are some simple tips that I have learnt on how to cope when your toddler is in the midst of a full scale tantrum:

Stay calm - Take a deep breath. If you need to put your toddler in their cot, shut the door and stand outside. Take a few minutes to calm down and think about the situation. Many of times I have placed Amelia in her magicbed or cot if she is having a tantrum to stop her from injuring herself and to also give me a breather! 

Don't give in! - Don’t give into tantrums. If they learn that tantrums will get them what they want, they will repeatedly use this tactic which won't be good in the long run.

Try and ignore onlookers - The best thing to do in this situation is to ignore other people. Some people can be extremely judgmental and nosey. There's nothing worse than someone watching your toddler throw a tantrum and seeing how you resolve it. Focus on your toddler, not on what other's may be thinking. 

Distract them - When your toddler is upset about not getting to do something or getting their own way, distract them with something else. It is amazing how well this works and how quickly they forget they are upset.

Offer limited choices - Don’t just ask what they want to do, give them a couple of alternatives and let them decide. This helps your child make some decisions on their own.

Help them with words - Sometimes your toddler can't express what they want or how they feel. They simply can't tell you want they are trying to do. The best option is to ask them or tell them what they are doing.  For example if your toddler is climbing up onto the sofa and has a tantrum. Ask them "Are you trying to get up on the sofa" "Help" and " Up" would also be good words to use in this situation. They will most likely respond. Over time they will understand and be able to communicate with you. 

Reassure your toddler that you are there if they want you. Say "Mummy is here if you want a cuddle when you calm down" or something similar. That way they will know that you are not mad and sometimes can reduce the period of time they have a tantrum for. 

Did/does your toddler have tantrums? How do you deal with them?

* Disclaimer - I am no expert, this is what has worked with us and our experiences. They may not work for you, I am just sharing my knowledge. 

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21 comments

  1. I'm the sort of Mum to shout tantrum louder than them to distract them from their own hissy fit. They end up looking at me like I'm bonkers and then their all smiles, lol. Works almost everytime! :P x

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  2. Good advice! Iyla had only had about 2 tantrums before Jobey was born so it was a bit of a shock when all of a sudden we were having them once an hour! I do choose my battles carefully though because like you said if you give in they learn that's what they need to do to get their own way and sometimes 45 minutes of crying just isn't worth the thing I said no to! So yeah staying calm and being consistent are my top tips I think! And maybe ear plugs ;) x

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  3. All brilliant advice. I think one of the most important ones is offering them a cuddle to calm down. This is what works for Jacob & myself.

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  4. I'm going through this at the moment too with William. He's 14 months almost and has turned into quite the personality recently. It's teething that makes him a right grump though. Will have to remember these! xx

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  5. Great post! Rio did his first tantrum yesterday while we were out for lunch..wowzers..it was the options that helped him stop x

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  6. OMG I don't have a toddler but this literally just happened at the library! I was not at all bothered by the kid, but I was so bothered by this lady who kept sighing and staring...I was like she's a kid haha

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  7. Ahhh!! Terrible twos kerry! Naughty three's you mean haha!! :P Much harder hahaa ... And i still got Elliw to go through them :(
    But i totally agree with all the advice you gave there xx

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  11. Is potted a lady in Tesco last week - Screaming toddler on the Floor! Kicking and Crying. She Just stood next to her calm as could be..... Doing nothing!! Little one then stopped - I then spotted them again same situation Just outside of the store. Lots of people would look on and assume she is a nasty or bad mother but I thought to myself what a Fantastic parent. Teaching her Child that you cannot always get your own way and tears and tantrums will not change that.

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  12. This is great advice. My daughter doesn't have many tantrums but I always try not to react when she does.

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  13. Its always good to have tips - I think the stayng calm is rather harder in practice than in theory though :)

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  14. Its always good to have tips - I think the stayng calm is rather harder in practice than in theory though :)

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  15. "ignore onlookers" = oh yes!

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  16. Great advice. It's a long time since my children were toddlers but staying calm and not giving in were key then.

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  17. Great advice! Especially in regards to onlookers.

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  18. due to my 3 year old recently playing up on the way to/from nursery (ive started dreading the school run) ive had to put her back in her trolley, even though she has been out of it for over 6 months. she is refusing to hold my hand near roads, and tries to run off ahead. and if i try to hold her hand she throws herself on the floor, screaming blue murder...... one of her teachers said i looked like i was about to cry , and suggested the trolley.... its been 4 days, and already the school run has improved..

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  19. due to my 3 year old recently playing up on the way to/from nursery (ive started dreading the school run) ive had to put her back in her trolley, even though she has been out of it for over 6 months. she is refusing to hold my hand near roads, and tries to run off ahead. and if i try to hold her hand she throws herself on the floor, screaming blue murder...... one of her teachers said i looked like i was about to cry , and suggested the trolley.... its been 4 days, and already the school run has improved..

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  20. kayleigh watkins24 March 2015 at 21:28

    I agree my megan is 2 and a half and a right madam on times, I also ignore her bad behaviour or distract her with something else, I also bend down to her level and tell her if she stops whingeing and tells me what she wants I can understand her better which helps, unless its 3am and she doesn't want to get back into her bed loll xxx

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I love reading them all and will try my best to answer all of your questions. If you would like to contact me for a quicker response please feel free to tweet me at (@ohsoamelia_blog) or email me. Kerry