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Relationship After Having A Baby - How Does It Change?


Having a baby is the most delightful and rewarding thing in the world to experience especially with your partner and someone you love, however you now have this little bundle of joy who needs your undying love and attention 24/7. Which is wonderful but you do tend to forget about the other half as you are putting all of your effort and little energy you have left after all those sleepless nights into changing nappies, feeding and entertaining the little one all day long you don't seem to have much time for each other anymore especially if he works all day too. You can check out more common relationship problems on bethealthmag.ca.

When Amelia was born immediately it felt like we spent less time together but more as a family. Of course we loved each other but you love your baby more it's just internal love. We have been through a few rough patches, I'll be honest. It's not easy but you do both need to sit down and make it work. Now that Amelia is older Andy is doing more with her as when she was younger he was working all the time and didn't really help out. I did the feeding, changing everything. I'm not sure whether he was scared as she was so fragile but over time he started helping out a bit more changing her nappy every now and again. Now that I'm back at work he has daddy days with her which is great for their bonding time. He is great with her now, he plays with her and you can see how much they love each other.

Before Amelia was born we would go out together all the time whether it be with a group of friends or just the two of us. We would dine out pretty much every night we weren't working. As soon as Amelia was born we knew we couldn't do this anymore. Also because she was breastfed I couldn't leave her for a long time so every now and again we would go out for 2 hours for a meal or a few drinks, this wasn't until Amelia was about 6 months old. We still don't go out much but it's nice that we can now if we want to. We do have one day of the week when we are both off work together and use that as family day. 

You have to make your relationship work after having a baby and only you can do that. Here are some simple ways to keep the spark in your relationship:

1. Date nights
2. Talk every day - ask how their day went.
2. Do something nice for each other spontaneously
4. Get physical
5. Help the other one out with housework
6. Thank each other when they do something nice
7. Cook each other dinner
8. Have breakfast in bed every once in a while
9. Surprise each other now and again
10. Kiss each other every day and before bed

Did you have experience relationship problems after having your baby? If so how did you fix them?

Kerry 


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23 comments

  1. It's important to focus on your relationship more after a baby. It can get lost in the chaos. I tell people having kids that even the most stable couples will stumble a bit and that's okay.

    Great post!

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    1. i agree....children help.....but can also hinder..... take time out for each other

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  2. I don't have children myself but with 11 nieces and nephews I can appreciate the strain a new addition to the family can bring to relationships. ALL relationships require work. I've been married for 15 years and although we're a childless couple, the same advice still applies.

    You and your partner seem such a young couple, Kerry. I wish you many more years of happy times and loving memories.

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  3. We didn't have any problems, but it was difficult to spend quality time together when I was so exhausted! We make a conscious effort to go on dates and sit and talk during the evenings. It definitely involves work!

    The Grass Skirt Blog

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  4. Following from the Blog Hop. Thanks so much for hosting! Love this post. It is so true that it is easy to lose sight of your marriage in the midst of a new baby. MY hubby often jokes that we're more like a tag team than a couple now. He comes home from work and it's like tag, he's it so I can go to work. Then I come home and tag, I'm it so that he can go for a run. He gets back and tag, he's it so that I can make some food, etc. We are definitely trying to do some of the things you listed in order to remember that we are actually married!

    Allison from Mamabhectichome.com

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  5. Its real easy to be all about parenting that you forget to do couple things. A lot of people find it funny tht we have set couple nights but its so easy to be so badgered about parenting that you neglect the couple aspect.

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  6. so important to make time for yourselves together but also to share the good times with your chld(ren) as they grow up

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  7. Yes, it does change but then life does all the time! Just be realistic and don't expect everything to be perfect! X

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  8. This is something I worry about when I eventually have a baby!

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  9. I found it got better, he looked after me and the baby!

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  10. we broke up after 3 weeks, but i had been going threw domestic violence with him so cant really make a valid comment. but id suggest plan things through before baby is born, like alternating night feeds etc

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  11. We got closer after having kids, there is less time just for the two of us, but then again, we can still annoy (oh sorry, i mean enjoy! ;) each other in 20 years when the kids are out of the house :)

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  12. I don't have a Baby but this would be my concern to be honest with you , but i think focusing on the here and now is the most important thing :)

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  13. People think babies bring couples closer, but a little one can bring many stresses to relationships. It is important to make sure you have time to still be a couple, even though you are now a threesome.

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  14. Elizabeth Williams11 May 2013 at 14:15

    We have struggled at times to find quality time together since having our son but make an effort to have a date night even if it is watching a film together at home when our son is asleep to that we get the time together

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  15. A night out now and again to keep our sanity!

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  16. Our kids are at school now so we have coffee dates in the afternoon when hubby is rotad on at work. We go and have coffee and cake at a coffee shop and sit and chat and giggle like we did before we had kids with no household distractions.

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  17. A night out and time to do things we used to enjoy before helps. We're going away for a night in london soon to see a show and we can't wait to spend time together.

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  18. makes you tired

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  19. Make time for each other


    emmawrenn@hotmail.com

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  20. Carolynn crabb11 May 2013 at 21:06

    Baby brings a couple closer x

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  21. my partner was brilliant when i had my son, helped me out alot more, it was alot more harder to spent time together, but we made sure we did x

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  22. You need time out together, as hard as it can be sometimes, maybe even just a couple of hours now and then. Some quality time, it really does help!

    @tjsi1963

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I love reading them all and will try my best to answer all of your questions. If you would like to contact me for a quicker response please feel free to tweet me at (@ohsoamelia_blog) or email me. Kerry