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10 Things You Should Never Say To A New Mum!

Here are 10 things you should never say to a new mum!

As a new mum myself I know how annoying it is to hear most of these comments. During conversation friends and family can forget to think before they speak which results in an unwanted remark. I thought it would be good to share some of the most commonly heard comments with you. I have had a few said to myself and may have regrettably said one or two in the past.

You may be reading this because you're a new or expecting mum, if so don't take them to heart people don't think before they speak.

If you're not a new mum... I advise you not to say any of the following to a new mum. (unless you don't mind having a black eye ;) ha ha ha!)


"You look like crap!" - Geeez! Thanks a lot you're suppose to be my friend! Never tell a mum who's just given birth she looks like crap, she doesn't really care...after all she has just pushed something the size of a melon out of her hoo ha!

"Why aren't you using cloth diapers?" - It's a matter or personal choice and which ever suits the family best. I didn't actually research into it but if I have another I will be giving them a go. 

"You shouldn't co-sleep with your baby" - I'll do what I like with my baby and you can do what you like with yours! Most babies like to be close to their mum's after coming out of the womb, it makes them feel more secure. Plus I enjoy it too!

"My baby was sleeping through the night by that age" - And, do you want a medal? Babies reach milestones at different stages. Some babies just don't sleep through the night especially breastfed babies. Amelia still hasn't slept through the night at eight months old! However she does sleep much better now. 

"You should... (insert baby advice)" - It's probably best that you keep your own opinions to yourself unless you want a smack in the face! Unless of course the mother has asked for your advice. A new mum can be very stressed and she doesn't need you sticking your oar in and telling her what she's doing right or wrong. 

"When are you due again?" - Excuse me??? Okay so I've never had that said to me but I may have said it to a few ladies who had already given birth, a bit of verbal diarrhea there I hear you say. But if you don't know whether she has given birth yet or not I'd recommend thinking before you speak as you don't want to upset a hormonal lady. Most women do still have a small baby bump after giving birth, it's pretty normal. 

"Awwww isn't she cute! When are you having another one?" - Let me get over the shock of having this one first please! and let me stitches heal, oooh and how about NEVERRRRRR AGAIN!!!?

"I had a natural birth...it's so easy!" - Good for you, some births are more complicated that others. Hence the reason I had to have an epidural, it wasn't planned but I'm glad I did otherwise my daughter may not be here today. She was born just as healthy, if not healthier than most babies. 

"Why are you a stay at home mum? / When are you going back to work?!" - I'll go back when I'm good and ready. Many mums much prefer to stay at home during the first year of their babies life to watch them grown and go through all their milestones. What's so wrong with that? Of course I'll be going back sometime in the future, but we have managed this long and will do until I'm ready to go back when Amelia's no longer breastfed. Plus you may not believe it but being a stay at home mum IS a full time job! (or so I keep telling myself)

"Oh, she does look like her dad after all?" - What are you trying to say? Of course she does, because she is his! He is her father. Okay, so maybe it wasn't said intentionally but if you don't have anything nice to say then don't!

Okay, so what have I missed? What's the most ridiculous thing someone has said to you as a new mum? Leave them below.

37 comments

  1. We always had people say, "Oh, just wait..." If I was having a particularly bad mommy day, this was not helpful!

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    Replies
    1. I get that one a lot... "Oh, just wait until she does this.." "wait until she can walk" blah blah blah. lol

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  2. I hated when Rico hit a milestone and they would say he is making room for the next one! Hated it. And when I just had him and went to target for a pump and someone asked when was I due....sorry lady just had him.

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  3. Oh man, these still make me cringe even though my son is 16mths! The things people come out with sometimes. "Why are you a stay at home mum? / When are you going back to work?!" This one really used to bug me! When O was little we lived in Holland where everyone went back to work when the baby was 3mths old, it was just the norm. So it was always met with surprise (and often rude comments, the Dutch are generally quite blunt) when people found out I chose to stay at home!

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    1. Wow, how rude! Yeah I get that a lot "when are you going back to work" I can afford to stay off at the moment and will be going back soon when Amelia is 1. 3 months! That's early, here the norm is 9 months haha!

      Kerry

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  4. People just dont know when to butt out. I have a 16 week old and get so frustrated with people.

    Close to punching someone now! :/

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    1. My daughters 8 months old...it doesn't stop haha! (But you do get use to it )

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  5. I've had all of those things said me! After I had my second child, some family members demanded that I have another child within two years since the newborn baby was just so cute and they wanted more. Shocked doesn't even begin to describe what I felt. Now that I'm a mom, I only give advice when asked and I help when asked so the new mom doesn't feel overwhelmed or get irritated.

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    1. Seriously? Ha you should have told them to have a baby themselves lol! I'm the same I don't give advice unless I'm asked.

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  6. So true ~ I do my best to never ask a pregnant woman anything ~ I remember what it was like so I keep my mouth shut!

    Lanaya
    www.raising-reagan.com

    (Liking your new blog layout)

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    Replies
    1. Same here Lanaya! I usually think things before I say them so I try my best not to say anything lol.

      Thanks for stopping by, and thanks, I thought it was time for a change :)

      Delete
  7. Oh, the judgement! I recently had a woman post a comment for me about how I was a bad mother for having a door lock on my 16 months olds door...for her safety, mind you as she was in a toddler bed and could open doors at that point. You would have thought I beat her.

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    1. Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut do they? Wow she should really stay out of your business.

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  8. As far as the work thing goes, who cares if you want to be a stay at home mom! I think it's incredible! I hope I get that chance when I have a little one :) I think people need to learn to keep their mouths shut sometimes. It's fine to tell you, "Aww! Your baby is adorable!"... and close. No more! :P
    Newest follower

    Steph xx
    http://www.texastolondon.com/

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    1. Hi Steph, thanks for stopping by.
      Exactly, I used to be a workaholic working 60+ hours a week, I think I deserve a break hehe. Will be going back once A turns 1 anyways.
      Ha ha I agree!

      Thanks for following, will pop on over to your blog :)

      Kerry

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  9. I've never had this directed at me because it doesn't apply, but some of my friends who formula feed their babies get SO much crap about it. People are all, "Why aren't you breastfeeding?" A) very personal decision! B) Some people just can't! C) Nunya freaking business!

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    Replies
    1. I totally agree! I have friends who formula feed because they couldnt breastfeed and get a lot of crap for it. I however do breastfeed and get loads of people saying "when are you going to stop?" ermm when I want to haha! Some people annoy me to much lol.

      Delete
  10. This is such a great post, I really like the won about asking a woman when she is due! I found your blog through the aka Chymecindy giveaway and I am so glad I did, I love it and I am now following you!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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    Replies
    1. Hi Kelly, thanks for stopping by and following.
      Will hop on over and check yours out :)

      Delete
  11. haha i'll have to remember all of these. I don't have a baby but one of the things I hate as much as pregnant women hate those is how often we get asked when we will be having a baby! Drives me nuts!

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    1. Haha yes, be sure to come back when your pregnant to remember them :)
      I've never had that said but now being a mum I can imagine how annoying that must be.

      Delete
  12. HAHA these are great! Some girl asked me when I was due a week after I had my daughter when I was at the OB's office for a follow up apt. when I told her I had the baby a week ago she actually said " oh thats ok it takes some people a while to lose the weight.".... really???!!! LOL!

    anyway..new follower from the bloghop :)
    Erin@ adashoftime.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What the hell! I would have slapped her lol!

      Thanks for stopping by and following :)

      Kerry

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  13. Keep this going please, great job!
    Here is my blog ; hacks

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  14. Any advice or questions should be outlawed...unless the mom asks...keep your mouth closed...being a mom is hard enough without unsolicited advice

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    1. Agree! I hated other parents butting in during the first few weeks after giving birth. Although I was glad of the help. Just not advice from know it alls.

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  15. Ha ha what a fantastic read :-) I had to laugh at some of them! People do not think when they speak do they lol

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  16. Hahaha thank you so much for posting this!

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  17. I've had four children, four (very) different births ranging from life and death, to firing out 2 minutes after my waters broke (and I MEAN firing out, midwife had to catch him) and resulting four very different children who had milestones of opposite ends of every spectrum.
    A first-time pregnant friend asked me if I had any advice and I simply told her not to listen to anyone's advice be it on pregnancy or childrearing.

    Loved the last one "Oh, she does look like her dad after all?" How rude, but lol!

    Following from the UK via the Let's get Social Sunday Linky :-)

    M x

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  18. I had someone ask me if she was planned! Dear, oh, dear... Found you through Bloggy Moms.

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  19. The most annoying thing for me was before lamb was born and I was at the end, if not overdue, people would say "he'll come when he's ready". F off!!! I'm uncomfortable and I want him out now! He's cooked and ready and doesn't need any longer!! X

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  20. I hated comments about my upbringing older child who is three years old. They asked why he screams, runs and plays, though younger needs peace. And the younger the most asleep when his older brother noisy manner. He knew those noises even as he was in the belly of me.

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  21. Enjoy this, it will go fast. Probably not the best, after all, some days a new Mom is just trying to survive.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I love reading them all and will try my best to answer all of your questions. If you would like to contact me for a quicker response please feel free to tweet me at (@ohsoamelia_blog) or email me. Kerry