...since becoming a mother.
There were a lot of things I didn't know when I became a mother. Things I had never thought would ever happen to me, things I thought I would never do or let myself become.
When I found out I was pregnant, It hit me like a ton of bricks! How am I going to look after a baby when I can barely look after myself? I was twenty-one, a young full time hard working girl. I'd never looked after a baby let along held one in my arms! "I'm going to be such a terrible mother" I kept saying to myself. But believe it when they say "Don't worry, It comes naturally you'll be fine". Because guess what they were totally right, the moment your baby enters the world screaming their little lungs out you realise from that very moment that nothing else matters. You change automatically for them, without even knowing it but you become more afraid than you've been in your life, stronger, much less selfish, and also more tired! I thought to myself if other women can have two, three maybe even 5 children then surely I would be able to manage.
1. Nights out - Okay so I wasn't the type of person who went out every weekend (I'd much rather stay in and get a takeaway), or had a few beers in front of the TV at home, however I did like the occasional night out, be that with friends or a meal out with Andy. I rarely had time to go out as I was a workaholic, I'd work anything between 45-70 hours a week so to actually be able to have a night out was zero to none. The last time I had a night out was my birthday in September & I didn't even get drunk. The last time I had an alcoholic drink was New years eve and that was only a glass of baileys! It's been seven, YES seven weeks since I gave birth, and I haven't touched a drop of alcohol, not that I'm in dire need of one but it would be nice. The reason I haven't is because I'm breastfeeding Amelia. But I am planning a night out soon so I will express my milk instead. I can't wait to go out and socialize with my friends, even if it's only for 1 or 2 hours. I bet I'll be on the floor after one ha!
2. Co-sleeping - It hadn't even crossed my mind, I just assumed she would sleep in her Moses basket from the very first night she came home from the hospital. WRONG! She hasn't slept in it for a whole night once! The first few nights she slept in it for a couple of hours here and there and then come to bed with us. She would also sleep in the Moses basket for naps during the day this was whilst she was newborn. Skip ahead a few weeks when she was three weeks old and she's slept in our bed ever since! Don't get me wrong, I love having cuddles with her and the reason we do it is so I can feed her while I sleep too as the first two weeks I sat up ALL night with her while she slept on me. Well today we've tried her in the cot for the first time and I'm so annoyed we didn't think of moving it into our room sooner! She's slept for 3 hours in it without crying once! I even had to wake her to feed her. Hopefully I can have my side of the bed back.
3. I would rather buy stuff for her than myself. I was certain I would never do this. All I've done since I found out I was pregnant is buy stuff for Amelia. Whether it be clothes, cute little headbands or stuff needed for the nursery.
So, yes. My life has changed in a lot of ways since becoming a Mummy. But I wouldn't have it any other way!